Scaachi Koul
One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter

Book Cover

A debut collection of fierce, funny essays about growing up the daughter of Indian immigrants in Western culture, addressing sexism, stereotypes, and the universal miseries of life.

In One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter, Scaachi Koul deploys her razor-sharp humor to share all the fears, outrages, and mortifying moments of her life. She learned from an early age what made her miserable, and for Scaachi anything can be cause for despair. Whether it s a shopping trip gone awry; enduring awkward conversations with her bikini waxer; overcoming her fear of flying while vacationing halfway around the world; dealing with Internet trolls, or navigating the fears and anxieties of her parents. Alongside these personal stories are pointed observations about life as a woman of color: where every aspect of her appearance is open for critique, derision, or outright scorn; where strict gender rules bind in both Western and Indian cultures, leaving little room for a woman not solely focused on marriage and children to have a career (and a life) for herself.

With a sharp eye and biting wit, incomparable rising star and cultural observer Scaachi Koul offers a hilarious, scathing, and honest look at modern life.

Praise for One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter:

“One of my publishers sent me this book by @Scaachi to read while I’m convalescing and it is good, y’all.” —Jenny Lawson

“Koul serves as a reminder that even in different political climates and journalistic ecosystems, it’s possible to do what Nora Ephron did best: remind your readers that just because forces in women’s lives and urges we have in response might be ridiculous doesn’t mean they’re any less powerful. . . . Koul sets a forceful standard that other writers should follow . . . It’s too easy for confessional writing to leave the reader feeling a little smug about having a life that’s not a wreck and vaguely disappointed not to have stockpiled enough drama for a memoir. Koul is far more engaging company than that—and far more challenging.” —The Washington Post

“Human behaviour is Koul’s specialty. Her wide-ranging book of essays touches upon many subjects—sexism, racism, feminism and culture—in a deeply personal and humorous narrative. . . . bringing her vulnerability, honesty and, of course, wry sense of humour to the discussion. She weaves stories, which through their cultural uniqueness and specificity, become universal and applicable to all.” —The Globe and Mail

“You’re probably already in love with Scaachi Koul on Twitter, so if you read this book, be warned that you’ll likely fall even deeper. Equal parts hilarious and profound, it’s simply a must-read.” ?Cosmopolitan
“Clear-eyed concision met with wry humour, a trademark brand of tragicomedy the writer’s followers know well. . . . Never chronological but taut even in its wandering, Koul’s collection carries you effortlessly through tangent . . . If 140 characters confine your opinion of Koul, that is truly a shame: tear any two pages out of ODWABDANOTWM’s 200 and you’ll see just how remarkable her prose can be in full.” —National Post

“[T]houghtful reflections are accented by an eccentric cast of Koul’s family and friends . . . Despite her tough topics, Koul’s voice snaps with [wit]”
NOW Magazine

She’s funny, she’s outspoken and the popular BuzzFeed writer (and prolific Twitter personality) is now out with this personal essay collection. It’s refreshing to have a Canadian voice talking about race and being a woman.” —Toronto Star

“Somehow Scaachi Koul manages to be impeccably dry and extravagantly vulnerable at the same time. She makes you feel less alone by being completely herself—funny (so funny), uncertain, clear-eyed, and good. I love her and I love this book.”
—Lindy West, New York Times bestselling author of Shrill

“An absolutely wonderful, impossible-not-to-love book. Whether writing about race or girlhood, the internet or family, Scaachi Koul’s writing makes each issue feel fresh and newfound. Hilarious but thoughtful, Koul draws you into her life and makes you never want to leave.”
—Jessica Valenti, New York Times bestselling author of Sex Object

“At once hilarious and passionate, razor sharp and free flowing, this fearless collection of essays proves why Scaachi Koul’s voice will set the agenda for how we talk racial and sexual politics for years to come. A masterful storyteller and a full-time provocateur, Koul challenges, entertains, educates—and along the way has written a gorgeous love letter to her family roots and women everywhere.”
—Kamal Al-Solaylee, award-winning author of Brown and Intolerable

One Day We’ll All Be Dead made me laugh embarrassingly loud on the train while surrounded by snarling, irritated commuters, approximately 1,729 times. And she has so many killer lines that destroyed me. Scaachi Koul is a miracle.” —Samantha Irby, author of Meaty

Genre/Category: Non-Fiction—Essays
Page extent: 256 (hc)
Publication Date: March 2017

Canada English rights, Doubleday Canada
US English rights, Picador
India English rights, Penguin Random House India
Film/TV rights, First Generation Films

For all rights inquiries, please contact The Cooke Agency.
Scaachi Koul

SCAACHI KOUL is a senior writer at Buzzfeed and malcontent based in Toronto. Born and raised in Calgary, she attended the School of Journalism at Ryerson University. Before joining Buzzfeed in 2015, she worked for The Huffington Post Canada, Maclean's magazine, Hazlitt, and freelanced for various publications including Toronto Life, The Globe and Mail, The National Post, The Toronto Star, Maisonneuve, and Canadian Business.